Like I said, we are continuing our series Life by the Spirit, and we've been focusing on the fruit of the Spirit. There are a couple of reasons we're doing this series. The first is this: we can't just be Christians who believe values. We actually have to live out those values. When people see us, they need to see the fruit of our Christianity. Fruit is meant to be consumed. Jesus says that people will know that you are His disciples by your love. It is by our fruit that people know we are Christians.

The second reason we're doing this is that fruit is an indicator. What does that mean? It means you know whether you're getting your Christianity right. So if there are moments today when we're kind of stepping on toes, you can just say, "Okay, God, I give that over to You." It's an indication of whether we're getting our Christianity right. And the third reason is that God wants this for us. How many of you want to have love in your life? How many of you want joy in your life, peace, kindness? We want all of that, and God says He wants to give it to us.

So today we're talking about self-control. And here's what I know: there's not a single person in this room who walked in here and said, "I want to be stuck." I don't know anyone who wakes up and says, "What's my five-year plan? To be bankrupt." It just doesn't happen. "What's your plan?" "I want to be addicted to pornography. I would love that." No one says that. But so often in our lives we can lose self-control, and we end up somewhere we didn't mean to be. And I believe God wants to come today and set us free from some things. None of us planned to do things that are sinful and then hide them, and now we're trying to cope with them, and no one needs to know. We didn't plan to do those things, but God wants to set us free.

Here's our theme verse that we've been reading, Galatians 5:22–23: "But the fruit of the Spirit," in other words, the result of having the Holy Spirit in your life, "is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and," say it with me, "self-control. Against such things there is no law."

Why is self-control the fruit that holds the others together?

I love this list. The more I've learned about this list, the more I realize just how intentional God is. We all get why love is the first one, because God is love. That makes sense. I didn't know why joy was number two. But then I realized the Bible says that the joy of the Lord is my strength. I need strength to do everything else, so the second part of the list is joy, because we need joy to do everything else.

Here's what I've learned: without self-control, none of it works. None of it works, because fruit is born where? In adversity. On my wedding day, it's not hard to love. Amen? It's when you're in a fight. Anyone? Y'all going to leave me up here by myself? It's when things are hard. It's easy to have joy at Disneyland. It's hard to have joy when I'm facing bankruptcy. Fruit is born in adversity.

So self-control is the thing we need for everything else. Because how do you have joy when there's nothing to be joyful about? How do you have peace when your circumstances are broken? How do you have patience when you're still waiting on that relationship, when you're still waiting on that child? How do I have kindness when an enemy hurts me? How do I have goodness when I don't feel it? How do I have faithfulness when I want to give up? How do I have gentleness when I want to blow up?

In that way, self-control is almost like the fruit bowl. It's what holds everything together. It's the capstone, because without it, our love will collapse, our joy will leak, our peace will dissolve, our patience will evaporate, and our faithfulness will crumble. Self-control is actually the safeguard. Say "safeguard." It's the safeguard for all the other fruit.

What does the Bible say about self-control?

Let me show you in Scripture. The Bible gives a mental picture in Proverbs 25:28: "Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control." Imagine a city in the ancient world with no walls. Your walls were your protection. So it's saying that if we don't have self-control, we're exposed. If we don't have self-control, we're vulnerable.

Where was the place you once had walls up? Where was the place you once had a conviction, and over time you feel like it has broken down? Because without those walls, we are vulnerable. We're one text away, one decision away, from everything in our lives coming down.

Where are we vulnerable? Here's what John 10:10 says: "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy." Some of you feel like your joy has been stolen, your love has been stolen, your peace has been stolen. The enemy is going to try to kill your purpose. He's going to put in your mind all the things you can't do, when God has called you to do them. He's going to try to destroy your marriage. And so often we enable it, because we lack self-control.

But here's what I know: what the enemy has broken down, God wants to build up, the things he has taken from you, the things he has stolen from you. Because that verse says this: yes, the enemy came to steal, kill, and destroy, but Jesus says, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the" what? Partial? No. "To the full." Jesus came to set us free, to give us self-control, so that the places in our lives where walls have been broken down can be built back up, in Jesus' name. You can be free from the thing, in Jesus' name. But it requires that we have self-control.

So what is it? Let me define it real quick. Here's the Greek definition: the virtue of someone who masters their desires and passions, especially their sensual appetites. I want you to notice: it's someone who masters their what? Desires, not actions. Why? Because sin always starts in the mind. That's why the Bible says we are to be transformed by the renewing of our actions. No, our minds. "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is, his good, pleasing and perfect will." So self-control is when we're able to discipline our minds in such a way that we're able to live out what God called us to live.

Why do I keep doing what I hate?

If you feel like there are times in your life when the walls have been broken down and you've lost discipline, and you're like, "Oh, Jesus, help me. Am I in this by myself?" No, you're good, because everywhere in the Bible there are people who messed up. One of them is Paul. If you're having a bad day, just go ahead and read Paul.

Romans 7:15. It almost sounds schizophrenic. He says, "I do not understand what I do." Some of you are like, "I need to put that on my fridge. Praise God, Paul. Finally, someone gets me, because I don't understand me either." He says, "For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good."

What does that mean? If you know you're doing something wrong, that's actually a good thing, because it means the Holy Spirit has written a law inside of you. I am more nervous for the people who are doing wrong and don't even know it. So if you feel like, "Oh man, I messed up," that's actually a good thing, because it shows there is a law inside of you. And let me just say this while we're here: let's go ahead and choose to make God's laws our truth, not what the world says and not what our feelings say. Because if my feelings decided what is true, I wouldn't be here right now. Amen. Our feelings lead us astray all the time.

So he says this: "As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me." That is an identity statement. What he's saying is, the wrong I did is not who I am. It's just something I did. The enemy will label you all the time. "You looked at porn. You're a porn addict. It's not something you did. It's who you are." And Paul says, "No, no, no. It's sin living in me."

"For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do, this I keep on doing." Anyone ever had this before? You're like, "Man, that's my life. Paul, you are reading my mail."

"So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner." And some of you feel this way. "What a wretched man I am!"

What does the enemy do when we lose self-control?

So we have this cycle of self-destruction, where we want to do right, but we fail, and then we feel hopelessness and shame. And in that moment, the enemy is going to try to do a couple of things I want you to know about. Here are the three steps he's always going to try to put on you when we lose self-control.

The first thing is identification with sin. He's going to say this sin is part of your identity. It's not what you did, it's who you are. The mistake you made is who you are. You didn't make a mistake; you are now a mistake.

That's one of my challenges with 12-step programs. I love them, because they have helped so many people, and I have so much respect for them. The challenge for me is that you can be free for 20 years and still introduce yourself, "Hi, my name is Brad, and I'm an alcoholic." No, you're not. If you've been set free, you're a child of God. Come on. It is something you did, but it is not who you are. And I'm not going to confess something God has set me free from. I'm not going to say, "This is just who I am." No, it's not who I am. Amen. God sets us free. So that's identification: this is who you are.

The second thing is isolation. Because when it becomes your identity and someone tries to threaten it, you don't feel like they're threatening it. You feel like they're threatening you. Someone's talking about that alcoholism, and you're like, "No, no, no, you're attacking me." They're talking about it, but it's become part of my identity, and now I think my sin is part of me. So now I isolate.

And then the final thing is destruction. We begin to lose our lives. Paul says this: "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!" Can I get a good amen? The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.

There is no condemnation in Christ

Then the very next verse, Romans 8:1: "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death." Amen. We can be free from the power that leads to sin and death. "For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh." Verse 4: "in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit." The Spirit can set you free.

How do you get self-control?

So you're like, "Brad, what do I do?" If you're struggling with any area of your life where you feel like the walls are down, where you're struggling with self-control, there are a couple of things I want you to do.

1. Confess and turn from sin

The first thing is this: I want you to confess and turn from that sin. The Bible calls this repentance. It means to change your mind so that you can actually change your direction. We need to come to a place where we can say, "God, You're right and I'm wrong," where we follow His truth, not my truth. The whole world is talking about "my truth." It's not about my truth. It's about His truth. He's the one who defines it. I'm not over this Bible. I'm under it. And if it says I need to be doing something, it's because God wants His best for me. And if I'm not doing it, I'm saying, "Father, I'm sorry. Forgive me." We confess and we turn from our sins.

And what will happen? Acts 3:19 says this: "Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out," get this, "that times of refreshing may come from the Lord." If you're ever in this place, just say, "God, forgive me. God, I'm sorry for my bitterness, for my anger, for the time I didn't forgive, for the time I yelled. God, forgive me for looking at what I shouldn't, for saying what I shouldn't, for doing what I shouldn't." In that moment, you get to experience His grace, and you feel clean, pure, righteous, when you say, "God, forgive me." The first thing is that we have to confess and turn from sin.

2. Continually fall in love with Jesus

The second thing, and this is the most important thing: continually fall in love with Jesus. People ask, "Brad, how do I get free from sin?" I'm like, "Look at Jesus. Look at Jesus." The problem is that so often, when we're trying to deal with something, what we're looking at is the sin. We're talking about the sin. We're focused on the sin. Do you know what happens when you keep focusing on that thing? You keep doing that thing.

It's like people racing cars in the desert where there are electricity poles every quarter mile. Their car goes out of control, and they will steer themselves into the pole. They're spinning, and they're like, "Where's the pole? Find the pole." And they will literally keep going until they hit it. Why? They focused on it, and that's where they went. We don't need to just focus on the things we're struggling with. We need to focus on and fall in love with Jesus.

I remember the first time I heard this, I was like, man, I'm going to try this. I'm not just going to focus on the things I'm struggling with. I'm just going to focus on Jesus. And it's crazy: the more I began to fall in love with Jesus, the more began to fall away, because you become like that which you love.

I've talked about this before. If I don't want to sin against Paige, if I'm like, "I do not want to commit adultery," I'm not going, "Don't commit adultery. Don't do it. Don't look. Don't look." What do I do? No, I just fall in love with Paige. And the more in love I am with Paige, the less I care about everybody else. The secret is what? Love. The more we fall in love with Jesus, the more all these other things begin to fall away.

Jesus talks about this in John 14:15. He says, "If you love me, keep my commands." So often we read that from a legalistic viewpoint: "If you love Me, prove it." That's not what Jesus is saying. He's saying, "Just love Me. And if you love Me, you'll do what I say. If you love Me, you'll keep My commands."

Titus 2:11–12 says this: "For the grace of God," the love of God, "has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us," what teaches us? The grace of God's love. "It teaches us to say 'No' to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age." It's His love that actually teaches us. So the more we focus on loving Him, the more all these other things begin to fall away.

3. Commit to the life of a disciple

The third thing I want all of us to do is this: commit to the life of a disciple. I've got bad news for you, and bad news for me too. Sermons alone don't change your life. They're catalytic. They can cause you to do something. But it is only by committing to be a disciple that life change actually happens. Why? Because you can decide today, "Holy Spirit, we're going to do it." But you have to decide it on Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday and Friday. And I wish I could be in your pocket going, "Do it. Do it." It's not going to work. You have to decide that this is actually something you want to do.

Every day, I pray certain prayers and ask God to do certain things. We'll teach about this in 21 Days of Prayer and Fasting. I go through a model called the tabernacle prayer. When I'm at the laver, where people would cleanse themselves, I say, "Father, purify my eyes. Purify my mind. Purify my ears. Purify my mouth. God, I choose today to follow You and not be distracted by anything else." I say, "Lord, give me Your Spirit. Give me love, joy, peace, patience, kindness today. God, I'm going into this meeting, and today I really need self-control." Every day I make a decision. We have to commit to not just make this a Sunday thing, but make it an everyday thing. Amen.

Galatians 5:16 says this: "So I say, walk," say "walk," "by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh." You will not. What does it mean to walk? It means to behave in a continuous and habitual way. It's not a one-time thing. It's saying, every day I choose this.

What does it look like to live as a disciple?

The spiritual journey we want everyone in our church to go through is written on the walls: we want every single person to know God, find freedom, discover purpose, and make a difference. It's a great place to start, and I have a couple of things you can do within each of those to commit to the lifestyle of a disciple.

The first thing under Know God is this: make your relationship with God public. If you've been saved and you've never been baptized, congratulations, today is your day, because we are doing baptisms today. You're like, "I'm not prepared. I don't have a swimsuit. I don't have anything." Great. We've prepared for you. We have everything. "But I don't have hairspray." We have hairspray. "But I don't have underwear." We have underwear. "But I don't have socks." We have socks. "But what about my hair?" We have a hair dryer. "But it's cold outside." But the water's warm. We got here early and warmed up that water. It's funny. People are like, "The water is cold," and I'm like, Jesus literally went to the cross. We can go through cold water. Thank God we don't need to. "But I have lunch plans." You can be slightly late. It's okay.

The Bible says they were saved and then they were baptized, not "once my family comes into town and everything is perfect." "I don't have a photographer." Great. We have a photographer. Literally, we have everything you need. If you were sprinkled as a kid, that is a beautiful dedication experience. That is not believer's baptism. You make the decision to follow Jesus, then you make the decision to get baptized. That's what the Bible says. If you've never made that decision, today is your day. Go public with your faith.

The second thing is this: spend time with God every day. We've talked about this: the First 15. And weekly worship with the church. Not sometimes. Find a church you love and commit weekly.

Next is Find Freedom. Get in a small group. We're launching them at the beginning of the year, and all God's people said, "Amen." I'm so pumped for small groups. Why? Because they allow us to get honest and transparent. Not everyone needs to know your secrets in life, but someone does. Who are you honest with? And the third thing is to invite the Holy Spirit to do the work.

Discover Purpose: discover your gifts and passions. How do I do that? Go through Growth Track. Right after the service, Growth Track is happening. If you've never gone through Growth Track, today's your day. You have an opportunity every single week. Join a team. You're like, "I don't have community." We have incredible teams here at Spirit. And Spirit is working amazingly without you, but it would work so much better with you. Jump on the team. Continue to grow. Sharpen each other.

Under Make a Difference: serve God by serving others, give generously, and share your faith, which a lot of you are going to be able to do at Christmas. Everyone with me?

4. Contend against going back

So we have to confess and turn from sin. We have to continually fall in love with Jesus. We have to commit to the life of a disciple. And the final thing is this: contend against going back. Get to a place where you actually guard against the thing. Amen. Yes, fall in love with Jesus. But I've realized something over the course of my life: I'm not as strong as I think I am. I'm not as strong as I think I am. And I'm always one decision away from stupid. Always.

Is self-control up to me or the Holy Spirit?

It can sound like a contradiction, because you're like, "Wait, the Bible's talking about self-control. Do I do that, or does the Spirit do it? Because it sounds like it's me. Self-control. How does that work?" Here's how: the Spirit powers it, but you participate in it. That's what it means.

Think of it like a sailboat. We have to do something. What do you have to do? Hoist the sail. What does the Holy Spirit do? Bring the wind. And sometimes we're like, "It's crazy. The wind is blowing, but nothing's happening." Great. You haven't hoisted the sail. "I'm struggling with pornography." Where does it happen? Instagram. Delete Instagram. "I don't want to hoist the sail." "Okay, I can't get out of bed in the morning." What are you doing? Numbing yourself with entertainment. The CEO of Netflix said, "Our competition isn't Hulu or anything else. Our competition is sleep." They're fighting for your sleep. So we can fall in love with Jesus, we can do all of that, but sometimes we have to pre-decide: what are the barriers? What are the guardrails we have to put in our lives?

Philippians shows us. Philippians 2:12–13 says this: "Therefore, my dear friends, continue to work out your salvation." What is that? Do your part. And it says, "for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose." You work it out, but He will work in you.

You need to understand this: we have a real enemy. The Bible says this in 1 Peter 5:8–9: "Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." So what do we do? "Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings." The punch that will knock you out is the punch you don't see coming. So if we can figure out how to prepare in advance, we can live in freedom.

1 Corinthians 16:13 says, "Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous." Matthew 26:41: "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." 2 Corinthians 2:11: "in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes." We have a real enemy. But you know what I love? We've got a real Holy Spirit. And the Holy Spirit wants to help you in the thing you're struggling with.

The Bible says this in 1 Corinthians 10:13: "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind." That's why I won't condemn anyone. I've struggled with the same things you've struggled with. "And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." He will provide a way out.

Why you need to pre-decide your boundaries

I told y'all, I'm not that smart. I wish I was. It says the Holy Spirit will show me a way out, but so often in the moment I'm so fixated, I'm so mad, I'm so this, I'm so that, that I don't even see the way out. Anyone ever had that before? You're like, "The Holy Spirit is showing me a way out. Why can't I see it?" So because it's hard for me to decide in the moment, I've learned to pre-decide.

What am I trying to say? Here's the line. Whenever you see a line, what do you want to do? When it comes to sin, I don't know about y'all, but when I was dating, as a punk kid, like 16 years old, I'd go up to my youth pastor and say, "Where's the line?" Why? Because I wanted to know how close I could get to that line. Anyone? That's what we do all the time. The Bible actually talks about this. It says the law arouses the flesh. What does that mean? When I see a boundary, I want to cross it.

It's funny that we do it with spiritual things, because we don't do it with physical things. How many of you have ever driven along a cliff with a drop-off and thought, "I just want to see how close I can get to the line"? What do you do? You're like, "I ain't coming close to that line. I'm driving all the way over here." What does it look like to fall in love with Jesus and say, "But I'm still going to create a different line"?

What does that mean for me? There are some shows I've just decided I can't watch. Everyone else can watch them. Reality TV, girls dressed all kinds of ways. Maybe you can. I can't. I won't. Secular music. Maybe you can. I won't. There are things I've had to pre-decide I'm not going to do, so I don't even entertain them. My wife has every password on my phone. My team has every login to every Instagram account. I'm ridiculously accountable. "Brad, are you just so weak that that's what you have to do?" No. The Holy Spirit has just shown me it takes one moment of weakness to mess everything up. No, I'm not even going close. I'm putting a line right here. I'm guarding against it. Amen.

When I first got married to Paige, and we've been married eight years, there was a time for a couple of weeks when I struggled with pornography in my marriage. I wish I could stand up here and say that has never happened to me, but it did. And I decided that will not be my story. So what did I do? I got honest. I told Paige. She graciously loved me. She forgave me. And then she said, "What are we going to do?" And I said, "I'm creating some lines. These are my lines." And I told them to her. And the more I fell in love with Jesus, the more I guarded things in my life, and the more I pre-decided, y'all, I've been able to walk in freedom. You can too. You can too.

Where do your walls need to come back up?

So how is it going to happen? We have to confess and turn from our sins. We have to continually fall in love with Jesus. We have to commit to the life of a disciple. And we have to contend against ever going back.

One final scripture, 2 Corinthians 7:1: "Therefore, since we have these promises," what promises? The promise that you can live free. The promise that you can have every fruit the Holy Spirit has for you. "Dear friends, let us purify ourselves." God has done His work. Now it's our turn. "Let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God."

What are the things in your life that need to stop? Where do the walls need to come back up? Maybe today you need to have an honest conversation with someone and say, "Hey, this is what I'm struggling with." And if it's me, grab my number. Most of the church has my number, my actual personal number. Text me. Let's talk. And when we start groups, talk. Let's be honest, and let's commit to a life where we live free. Amen.

Can I pray for you? Lord, I want to thank You for today. I thank You for every single person that's here. Holy Spirit, I thank You that You want to give us self-control. I thank You that it happens in ways we don't expect. It's not by gritting our teeth. It's not by just trying real hard. Holy Spirit, it's about falling in love with You, falling in love with Jesus, and making sure we're building the walls back up. Lord, I pray that people will be able to be honest about where their walls are down. And Lord, may we be a community that, when we see someone's walls are down, partners with them to build them back up. Thank You, Lord, for what You're doing. I pray for freedom in this place, in the name of Jesus.

With every head bowed and eyes closed: time and time again, the Bible talks about how, if we want to live in freedom, that can only happen through Jesus. And there are people here who have maybe never actually made the decision to follow Jesus. The gospel is simple. It says every single one of us has messed up. But God sent His Son Jesus to live on this earth. He died on a cross, and He was raised. The Bible says that if you believe in Him, you can have life. And if you're far from God, you know it, because your heart's beating right now. My encouragement is this: go all in with God. Go all in with God.

If you're here and you've never made the decision, and you're saying, "Today I want to give Jesus my life," here's what I want you to do. I'm going to count to three, and I just want you to show me your hand and say, "Hey, Brad, that's me." Here we go. No one looking around. One, two, three. If you're making that decision, thank you. Thank you. That's awesome. Just whisper this prayer: "Lord Jesus, I thank You that You're the Son of God and the Savior of the world. I thank You, Jesus, that You came to this earth. You died on a cross, and You were raised so that I may have life. Right now, I make You my Lord. I make You my Savior. In Jesus' name."

Hey, church, can you do me a favor? Can you put your hands together? Come on.