We're in week three of our series entitled It's Complicated. How many of you know relationships can be complicated? That can be so difficult. And what we're learning is this: when you do relationships the world's way, it becomes incredibly complicated. But when you do it God's way, it becomes incredibly clear. It's not always easy, but it is fulfilling when you do things God's way.

Last week, we talked to the men. Men, where you at? I've been hearing great reports, by the way, from all the ladies saying that husbands, you're stepping up. Great job. Really proud of you. But today, we are coming for the ladies. I literally had some girls walk up to me and say, "Shoot, I forgot today was the day I was supposed to be sick. I don't know why I'm here."

Men, I said this last week, but if you're in the room and you're not historically an amener, this is not the week to become an amener. This is not the week to start your elbow ministry and say, "He's talking to you." No. This is the week where you're just like, "Wow, did you know that was in there? That's awesome." Just look at the Bible. Look down. We'll get through this together. It's going to be great.

I'm so thankful for your prayers. I've had more prayers this week than any other week. I had people texting me, "Hey man, I'm praying for you." I'm like, "Thank you." And someone else texts me, "Hey man, I'm praying for you." And I'm like, "Man, God really laid me on a lot of people's hearts this week." And then I realized it's because I said I was talking to the ladies. So everyone's like, "I'm praying for you, brother."

But honestly, I've been praying because I want to get this right. I really do. I think if you've ever gone to a men's night, often when you talk to men, it's like, "Come on, be a man. Step up. Get a job. Stop looking at porn." That's what we've got to do. And then we talk to the ladies and we're like, "You're perfect. Change nothing. You're a sky full of stars. Shine bright like a diamond." But I literally had people come up to me in the lobby last week and say, "You did not go easy on the men. Don't go easy on us."

To be honest with you, it encouraged me so much, because what we care about more than anything is not only helping form healthy men of God. We're here to help form healthy women of God. And all of y'all have said this: if this is what the Bible has, then I want what the Bible has for me. So today I'm not scared, because I'm not standing here on the authority of being a woman. I have not been a godly woman one day in my life. Praise God. But I have a godly wife, and I have the authority of Scripture. So what we're doing today is standing on this, and I think it's going to be amazing.

I'll be talking a lot to the married ladies. So single girls, do not check out, because one day you're going to be stepping into this. And if you're a man, don't check out, because you're going to see some standards that God is calling us to lead the people we're in a relationship with into.

If you have your Bibles, turn to Genesis chapter 2. We're going back to where everything got complicated. We wonder when relationships got complicated. It wasn't when TikTok came around. It wasn't when dating apps came around. It happened all the way back in Genesis 2. So ladies, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to show you God's design for you. Then I'm going to show you the distortion, how sin came in. And then I'm going to show you redemption, how we can go all the way back, just like I did with the guys.

What is God's design for women?

The first thing we're talking about is God's design. I want to show you God's design for marriage before sin ever entered. In Genesis 1, God creates the heavens and the earth. In Genesis 2, He creates man. And what I said to the guys last week is that when God created men, He gave them a work to produce, a place to protect, and a word to preserve. He said, "You can eat from any tree, but you can't eat from that tree."

And once He's done that, He creates woman. Verse 18 says, "Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone.'" All the men said amen. I love that verse. It is not good for a man to be alone. It says, "I will make a helper who is just right for him."

So He forms woman. He builds her out of the rib, out of the side of man, and He brings her to Adam. And He's like, "Adam, what are you going to call her?" And Adam's like, "God, I don't know, but, man." And God's like, "Woman. That's it." Didn't know that was in the Bible, did you? That's how it happened. Just like that.

God gave men a work to produce, a place to protect, and a word to preserve. And girls, this is what He gave you: a strength to supply and a stance to take. A strength to supply and a stance to take, before sin ever came.

1. A strength to supply

First, God gave you a strength to supply. Verse 18 says, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper." Say "helper."

Often when you see that word helper, you're like, "That's kind of cute. Wait, is that like an assistant word? Like a little helper? A woman is just supposed to be a helper to men?" No, no, no. That is actually an incredibly powerful word. The Hebrew word is ezer, and it is literally a word God uses for Himself.

So men, this is not "she's your helper," as in, "Girl, go make me a sandwich. Clean the house." This is not that. That is a great way to get slapped by a woman of God. That is not what it means. It is a strong word. It's a word God literally uses for Himself.

Psalm 33:20 says, "We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help," He is our ezer, "and our shield." Psalm 121:2: "My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." In Exodus 18:4, Moses said, "My father's God was my helper." He was my ezer.

So ladies, you are not weak. You're strong. God created you to be a strength. This is a military word. This is a deliverance word. And you need to get this: God did not create woman because men were lonely. He created women because by ourselves, we are insufficient to accomplish the assignment God has given us.

We're not talking down on you today. We're talking up to you today. Come on, women of God need to stand up. God made you to be strong, to help us complete what God gave to us. Not only is God saying it's not good for men to be alone, He's saying it is not good for you to do this alone. Girls are not a reward for a job well done. They are literally how the job gets done. That's what God has called you to be. He's called you to be a helper and a strength.

How can a wife be a helper to her husband?

So girls are like, "Okay, but what does that look like? How can I be a helper?" This is what it means. It means you come alongside the mission God has called your husband to, and you strengthen him where he's weak. So the question is, where is he weak? Because men, we be weak. There are areas where we be weak. So how can you strengthen him in the areas that are weak?

How can you strengthen him mentally? Men, we forget. We forgetful. I forget where my keys are. I'll forget my kids' names. I just forget things. And my wife is like, "Do you remember that thing you said a month ago?" And I'm like, "No, I don't remember what I had for breakfast yesterday." But she just remembers everything. Girls, your brains are all connected, and ours aren't. But you can strengthen us. Don't despise us for the moments we're mentally weak. You're strong. What does that mean? It means you can also help him remember who God is and what God says when we forget. You can be a strength mentally.

You can be a strength emotionally. Your husband is weak in his confidence? You can strengthen that. I've seen this. Men can take criticism from their boss when they come home to someone who says, "I believe in you." But show me a man who is criticized at work and has contempt at his home, and I'll show you a man who is wasting away.

I can preach sometimes and be out in the lobby, and people are like, "Great job. That was great. That's awesome." All of y'all can encourage me. But I go home and my wife says, "Great job, babe," and I'm like, "Really?" You can help his confidence. The things you say to him at 10 p.m., he is rehearsing at 6 a.m. Now, do we encourage ourselves in the Lord? Absolutely. But girls, you can come and bring a strength emotionally.

You can strengthen him physically. What does that mean? You fight beside him. You do not fight him. That doesn't mean you fight for him, fighting the battles he should be fighting. That's not what I'm saying. It also doesn't mean you fight against him. But you can strengthen him physically by fighting beside him.

What does the Bible say about sex in marriage?

You can strengthen him mentally, emotionally, physically. And wives, you can strengthen him sexually. All the men just kind of looked up like, "I'm glad I came to service today." Y'all never took notes in church a day in your life, but you're like, "That's good. I'm writing that down."

We'll talk more about sex in the upcoming weeks, but I think this is important to understand. I said this to the single people a couple of weeks back: sex isn't a need. Food is, and water is. You can go your entire life not having sex and still accomplish the will of God for your life. But when you get married, it's actually interesting, because the Bible says that sexual intimacy in marriage is a need.

1 Corinthians 7:3–4 says, "The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife."

Wives, I need you to know this: husbands need sex. And they need it so badly that they don't even understand why they need it. We don't understand how it works. It all happened at puberty. Before puberty, you're around girls and you're like, "Ew." And after puberty you're like, "How did that happen? The day before, I wanted to push you, and now I just want to hold you." We do not understand how it happens. All we know is that it happens. Wives, you're getting dressed in the morning, your hair isn't done, your teeth aren't brushed, and your husband's like, "This is the greatest thing I've ever seen in my life." How does that work? I don't know.

But I know this. Girls, I'm going to let you in on some dude things happening in our brains. When men get married, they ask, "Are you forsaking all others?" And we're like, "Yes. I'm forsaking three billion girls. Girl, you're about to get all of me. It's going to be amazing." And then we get married, and we are shocked to find out that at the altar you weren't thinking the same thing. "You mean that isn't what you were thinking about the entire time? You were thinking about getting a dog? Snuggling on the couch and watching a movie?" And we're like, "Wait, you can go weeks?" We don't understand.

Why am I saying all of this? Because God created men that way. And if you don't understand that, you will demonize God's design.

So men are dreaming about all these things, and then they step into a marriage, and that marriage becomes sexless, and then they're at work and someone's flirting with them. Am I saying it's up to you to bring self-control to your husband? Absolutely not. Men, I talked to you last week. I hit y'all in the face for this reason. We are self-controlled. We lead in everything. But wives, I am saying this: it is possible to starve your husband and then send him to the grocery store.

And husbands, you can do the same thing, because she needs admiration and encouragement and nonsexual touch and all of those things. You need to make sure you're not starving her of those things and sending her out where she gets them from someone else. Does that make sense? We have to understand that we can strengthen each other where we are weak. So wives, God has created you to be a strength.

2. A stance to take

The second thing He created you to do is take a stance. Verse 18 says, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him." That phrase there is kenegdo: a helper who is just right for him.

Many translations translate it in different ways: "I'll make a helper suitable for him," or "I'll make a helper who is fit for him." But if you can get this, it is going to help you so much. Wives, He's saying, "I'm going to make you a helper, kenegdo." Here's what it means. It's the qualifier of what kind of help. It means corresponding to him, face to face with him. It literally means his opposite. "I'm going to make a helper who is literally opposite of him."

And we get so mad that we're opposite. But God is saying, "No, no, no. I created you opposite physically, but I also created you opposite emotionally." What do women want more than anything? Love. What do men want more than anything? Respect. And we don't love unless we get respect, and you don't respect unless you're loved. It's this crazy circle God has us on. We're opposite. And we can't demonize each other for the fact that we are opposite. Before sin, this is what God did. He created us opposite.

Why did God make men and women opposite?

There's a great book called His Needs, Her Needs by Dr. Willard Harley. He's a marriage counselor, and he had all of these couples coming into his counseling saying, "Hey, we want to get a divorce." He would work with them, and at the end of it, they would end up getting a divorce. He became so frustrated by that that he started talking to other marriage counselors, and he saw that it was a common thing. So he said, "I need to change my pattern. I need to do something different."

So he started asking couples this question: What is one thing your husband can do that would make you happiest? What is one thing your wife can do that would make you happiest? He charted those answers over 10 years and came up with 10 answers. Then he had them rank them. And surprise, surprise: the top five things for girls were the bottom five things for guys, and the top five things for guys were the bottom five things for girls. Why? He created us opposite. But he challenged them to start fulfilling each other's emotional needs, and his divorce rate completely changed.

I think this is so helpful for understanding that you're kenegdo. You are literally opposite to who he is. Here are the top needs.

The first one: affection versus sexual fulfillment. What do women want more than anything? Affection. True affection. Nonsexual touch. Guys, what do you want? Sexual fulfillment. And what's funny is, when girls are affirmed, they give the one thing. When men get that one thing, they want to affirm. Isn't that frustrating? It's literally a cycle. That's how it works.

The second: intimate conversation. She's like, "I want to know your deepest things. I want to know what you're thinking about, what you're dreaming about." And men want you to play pickleball with them. They want recreational companionship. "Can we golf? Can we go for a run?" She's like, "Do you want to share your heart while you run?" "No, I just want to run."

She wants honesty and openness, but he wants physical attractiveness. She wants to know your soul, and he just wants to know you. Completely different. She wants financial support. He wants domestic support. She wants family commitment, and he wants admiration. He's like, "No, I want you to be committed to me." Completely opposite.

I need y'all to know this, because wives, like I said, you will demonize your husband because he's not like you. But that's exactly the way God designed it. That doesn't make him broken. It makes him male. Husbands, the fact that she doesn't want to do the things you want to do every single minute of every day does not make her broken. That makes her female. And for you to get the thing you want, you need to give her what she wants, and vice versa. You'll see that you are a strength, kenegdo, in everything.

So God gave girls, females, wives, a strength to supply and a stance to take. You are not opposing him. You're opposite to him.

What mistakes did Eve make in Genesis 3?

But then distortion came into play. That's where sin entered. And now all of a sudden it's, "I'm not going to be a strength that is opposite you. I'm going to actually pull you away from what God designed."

I said this for men: distortion came in because we were silent, we hid, and we blamed. Girls, there were four things Eve did that I think, for so many of us, are pulling us away from being a strength who comes alongside to help our husbands.

Genesis 3:1–2 says, "Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, 'Did God really say, "You must not eat from any tree in the garden"?' The woman said to the serpent, 'We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden.'"

I want you to see this. Adam's issue is that he was silent about what God said. Eve's problem was that she got pulled away from what God said. There are four things that happened.

1. She listened to the wrong voice

The first thing is this: she listened to the wrong voice. Girls, are we in a place where we're listening to the wrong voice? The enemy is coming and saying, "Did God really say?" He still does that today. We're listening to culture. We're listening to TikTok. We're listening to all of these different things, and the enemy is saying, "Did God really say?"

That's why it's so important for you to know the Word of God. Because you'll hear, "Does God really say respect your husband? He disrespected you. Are you really supposed to respect him? He doesn't deserve it. Are you really supposed to honor him? He messed up last week." And instead of shutting it down, we entertain the voices of friends who are telling us something that is anti-Bible.

2. She developed the wrong focus

Once she listened to the wrong voice, she developed the wrong focus. She started focusing on what God withheld instead of what God gave her. God said, "You can eat from any tree but that one." And the enemy says, "Do you see that tree God said you can't eat from?" And she starts focusing on what she doesn't have instead of what she does.

You can have a husband who loves you and provides for you and loves your kids and does all of these things. And then your friends are like, "But he didn't buy you flowers for Valentine's Day." "He forgot your anniversary until two hours after you woke up." Nervous laughter from all the men. Does that make sense? You listen to the wrong voice, and you start having the wrong focus, which leads to the wrong desire.

3. She let the wrong desire overrule truth

Then she allows her desire to overrule truth. Verse 6 says, "When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it."

She comes to this place where she's like, "This just feels right." "I know the Bible says honor my husband, but he doesn't deserve it, and this just feels right." Withholding just feels right. Being angry just feels right. Icing him out just feels right.

4. She stepped out of God's order

The wrong voice leads to the wrong focus, which leads to the wrong desire, the wrong standard, which finally leads to the wrong order. She steps out of God's order, and she pulls her husband with her. Genesis 3:6 continues: "She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it."

Now, I've already said this, men: who is responsible for this? Us. Adam. We are the leaders. But I also need you to get this. Adam was weak in that moment, a weak leader. But Eve is also the strength who is beside him, and in a moment of weakness, she did have what she needed to combat that. So they both get held accountable. Y'all see that? She was supposed to be a strength alongside him. When he was weak in his silence, she could have been strong and said, "No, this is what the Word of God says." But they both failed at the thing God had called them to do. That's how He designed it. He designed her to be a strength for the moments when he is weak.

What does Genesis 3:16 mean for marriage?

So we have consequences that come as a result of that. For men, our consequence revolves around work. For women, the consequence is often around the family unit. And this is going to start clicking and making sense.

Genesis 3:13 says, "Then the Lord God said to the woman, 'What is this you have done?' The woman said, 'The serpent deceived me, and I ate.'" Verse 16: "Then he said to the woman, 'I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth.'" And then watch this: "And your desire will be to control your husband, but he will rule over you."

I actually think that's one of the most devastating moments of the fall. What He's saying is there's going to be a struggle for leadership within your marriage. Woman, it's not going to be, "I'm going to come alongside and help." No, it's, "I'm going to take charge. I'm not going to be the helper. I'm not going to serve. I'm not going to submit. I'm not going to encourage my husband." That is the result of the fall.

And men, when wives don't come alongside, our sin is that we become domineering and aggressive. "You won't submit? I'll show you." Both of those are sinful. Both of those are wrong. Wives want to take charge, so men say, "I'll show you," and you see the struggle happen in the relationship.

We're both tempted to be aggressive or passive. Girls, watch this. You can be aggressive by saying, "I'm taking charge." Some of you, that might be where you're at. Some of you might be passive: "He's a big boy. I'll let him figure this one out. I love you." Both of those are wrong, and both of those are prideful, because you're not supposed to say, "I'm going to do it," and you're not supposed to say, "You figure it out." You're supposed to humbly say, "Let me come alongside you and help."

Men, same thing. You can be aggressive: "Stay in your place." Dominate. Or you can be passive: "I'm on the couch. You just figure it out." Both of those are wrong. What is your job? Your job is to lead by laying down your life.

What does the Bible say about wives submitting to their husbands?

So we have the design God created, and then we have the distortion that happens because of sin. But the beautiful thing is that with Jesus, we can actually come back to the original design. There is redemption.

So people say, "Okay, what does this look like now? Now that Jesus has come, now that He's changed our hearts, how does He want us to approach this?" Paul talks about it in Ephesians 5, and I want to end with this. Ephesians 5:21 says, "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." And then he describes what that submission looks like.

Verse 22: "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord." We good? I've talked about what submission means. Sub means under. Mission means mission. You're literally saying, "I'm coming under my husband's mission." We've made it such a bad word. It's not a bad word.

"For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."

Does a wife have to submit to all men?

A couple of caveats. First caveat: it says submit to your husbands. Ladies, this does not say submit to men. Can I get a good amen? This does not say submit to all men. You can have people who say, "You're a woman. You need to listen to me." And you can say lovingly and kindly, "Boy, bye." It does not say you have to submit to all men.

Single ladies, where you at? It says submit to your husbands, not to your boyfriends. The problem is, sometimes we're giving husband treatment to boyfriend energy. If he hasn't given you a ring, you do not need to submit to him. You lead yourself until you get married and give yourself to him. Does that make sense?

Does submission mean submitting in everything?

"Submit to your husbands in everything." What does everything mean? There are some dudes who are like, "Oh, everything." No. There are caveats. It's out of reverence for Christ, and it comes with the husband's command to love his wife. In other words, you do not need to submit to him in issues of sin. If he wants you to do something that is sinful or harmful, you can respectfully say no, out of reverence for Christ.

And it says "as you do to the Lord." What does that mean? It means that when you're submitting, what you're saying in that moment is, "I'm doing this not because of who you are. I'm doing this out of reverence for Christ."

We can get submission so messed up. Here's what it's not. It does not mean you are inferior or less valuable. It does not mean you can't make a decision. It does not mean you have to hide your calling or shrink back. And it does not mean the will of your husband over the will of God. If he says, "I don't want you to go to church," you don't have to submit to that. If he says, "I want to watch something that is inappropriate," you do not have to submit to that. That's not what submission is. Submission is saying, "I'm going to come under the mission God has called you to. Where has He called us to go, and what are we going to do with that?"

What if my husband isn't a Christian?

I think one of the hardest things about this is that I know there are people in this room asking this question: "But my husband isn't saved, and I'm here. Do I have to submit to him? What does that look like?"

Peter actually answers this in 1 Peter 3:1–2: "Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives."

You need to love and honor your husband in such a way that he gets to a place where he's like, "Whoa, I don't deserve this. This makes no sense. Why are you being like this? Why are you being so kind?" And you can say, "I am doing this because of my love for Jesus." And in that moment, I want you to watch something happen in his brain, when he realizes he has such an incredible wife and the reason she's acting the way she's acting is her love for Jesus.

Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church

So Paul says, "Submit." And girls are like, "That's easy for you to say, because he ain't telling you to submit." Well, he kind of is, because husbands, we need to submit to Christ. So we do have to submit. And then he says in verse 25, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word."

He's like, "Girls, submit. Men, die." Can I have the first option, please? Can I have the submission, please? He says, "No, no, no. Wives, you submit. But men, you lay down your life for her." And I said this last week and I'm going to say it again: you become easy to submit to when you lay down your life for your wife. That is what a godly relationship needs to look like.

So men, what does it look like? I said it last week, but again, it means we lay down our lives by honoring her, being gentle with her, speaking life over her, providing for her, protecting her, preferring her, treating her with respect, leading your home, putting her needs above your own, and washing her with the Word.

What does a godly wife look like?

So girls, what does it look like for you to submit, to come alongside your husband? What does it actually, practically look like? A couple of things.

1. Godly wives give respect

The first thing I want you to understand about godly wives is this: godly wives give respect. Ephesians 5:33 says, "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

I need you to understand this. Respect here is not something he earned. It's something you assigned. You're choosing to do it even if he hasn't earned it. And men, it says the same thing to you: you need to honor your wives even if they haven't earned it. These aren't feelings. These are choices. The same way a man needs to honor you by choice, whether you've earned it or not, the Bible calls wives to respect.

What does that look like? It means you don't make him the punch line in the text thread where you hang out with your girls, because you teach them how to see him. It means you let your husband finish his thoughts. And husbands, you do the same. We seek first to understand, and then we seek to be understood.

It means you ask instead of hint. Single guys, y'all need to figure this out quick. And wives, you can help us with this. Please ask instead of hint, because sometimes you hint and we just don't understand, because we're not as quick as you. If your wife says, "Are you going to wear that?" that's not a question. She's telling you that you should not wear that. If she says, "Oh my gosh, I saw the cutest thing at Target," she's not trying to tell you about her day. She has made a request that she's going to purchase something. "We don't have to do anything for my birthday." Do something for her birthday. What that means is make it a surprise. Girls are laughing because y'all have done it to us. "Don't worry about it. It's fine." It's not fine. "Do whatever you want." Sir, do not do whatever you want. It is a test, and you are failing. If she cleans loudly, get off the couch. If you're like, "I've never heard my cabinets close that loud. I wonder if I should fix them and add some soft-close," no. Get up and help her clean.

It means you critique the thing and not the man. You can say, "Hey, can you take out the trash?" But saying, "You never take out the trash because you're worthless," that's not respect. It means you don't outsource him, calling your dad or your best friend instead of calling him. It means you notice him out loud instead of just in your mind. That's what it looks like.

2. Godly wives give help

The second thing is that godly wives give help. This is what I talked about in Genesis 2:18: the Lord said, "I will make a helper suitable for him."

Ladies, if he's tired, don't demonize him. How can you lift up his arms? If he's weak, how can you strengthen him? Is he discouraged? How can you bring courage to him? How can you encourage him? Encourage literally means, "I'm going to pour courage into you." How can you be a help that is opposite to him in the areas where he is weak? When he's forgetful, when he doesn't do the thing, instead of saying, "You're the worst. You should think like me"?

Because girls' brains are crazy, and everything's connected. Give us a project in the yard and we'll be out there for eight hours, focused. And girls are like, "Oh my gosh, pick up the kids, and then dinner, and then..." You have this way of connecting everything to everything. God made you that way. But He made us to have a singular focus. Does that make sense? Let's not demonize each other.

3. Godly wives prioritize their marriage

The third thing is this: godly wives prioritize their marriage. In the book of Matthew, the Pharisees were asking Jesus about divorce, and He says this in Matthew 19:4–6: "Haven't you read that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." Say "one flesh."

What does that mean? It means you become one flesh with your husband, and in that moment you prioritize each other. You're one flesh sexually. You're one flesh physically. You're one flesh emotionally. And He says, let nothing separate that.

The challenge is that so often we let things separate that. Men, what do we let separate it? Work. We allow work to come in and drive a wedge. That's a consequence of the fall. Men's consequence was around what? Work. So we allow work to separate. Ladies, your consequence was around what? Family. So we can allow family to separate.

What does that mean? I've seen people who are married start prioritizing their kids over each other. You have a baby and you're like, "Okay, the baby's going to sleep with us in the bed." And that's great. I understand that needs to happen. It needs to happen for some weeks. But sometimes it happens for some years, and something else is driving a wedge into your relationship. Not always the case, but I've seen it. People get married, and they get divorced after 25 years. One of the biggest times for divorce is when the kids leave the house. Why? Because we started prioritizing the kids more than anything. And now that the kids are out of the house, we realize we don't even like each other or know each other. We haven't dated each other, because we allowed something else to separate us. Our kids don't come first. Our spouses do. We create a godly household where we love each other, and then the kids are blessed because of that.

4. Godly wives build their homes

The final thing is that godly wives build their homes. Proverbs 14:1 says, "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down."

Ladies, you just have that special touch. If you've ever walked into a single guy's house, you're like, "Why is there a movie poster on your wall?" A friend and I were living together, and we didn't have any greenery, so we put up a Christmas tree. And then we never took down the Christmas tree, because it was our greenery. Ladies, you just have a way of making a house feel like a home, and it's what men desire more than anything else.

Proverbs 31 talks about a noble wife. It says, "She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family." Now men, do not get excited. That was not a command. But what it is saying is that she takes care of her household. My wife has the ability to set things up around the house in such a way that my kids have what they need. The diapers are exactly where they need to be. The clothes are exactly where they need to be. Wives, that's what God calls you to do. Proverbs 31:27 says, "She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." My wife is the best at this. Every single detail of every single thing comes together.

And I understand that sometimes girls are working, and I understand that we need to serve each other and lay down our lives. All of that applies. But ladies, there's something you can do about making a home peaceful that a man can't do. I just encourage you to step into that. When guys are fighting thorns in the field and they come home to a house that is peaceful, not chaotic and angry, it does absolutely incredible things.

The Holy Spirit is our perfect helper

So here's what I want to do. I want all of us to pray, and I want you to just ask yourself a couple of questions. I'm going to give you a couple of minutes. Ladies, I want you to ask: Which one of these is God telling me He wants to put His hand on? Is it that I'm not respecting? I'm not helping? I'm not prioritizing my marriage? I'm not building my home?

In the same way I asked the guys to repent to their wives last week, wives, I'll ask you at some point today to just say, "Hey, here's what I felt like God told me, and here's the one area I want to work on." And men, you're going to lovingly, kindly say, "You're the best." Can we do that? Can we take 30 seconds and just ask? Men, I want you to ask how you can support your spouse. Single people, I want you to pray for your future spouse. Say, "Lord, what is it You want me to do? What are You putting Your finger on?"

While you continue praying: for some of you, one of the hardest things about this message is that you're like, "Man, I don't know if I can do any of that. How can I ever have the strength to do all of that?" And it's really simple. You get that strength through Jesus. When Jesus comes into your heart, the Holy Spirit comes into your heart. And the Holy Spirit is our Helper. That's exactly how the Bible describes Him. He is our Helper, and He helps us in the areas where we are weak. He's our perfect Helper.

If you're here and you do not follow Jesus, I want to give you the opportunity to do that, so the Holy Spirit can come into you and help you do what God calls you to do. The gospel is simple. We've all messed up. We've all fallen short of God's glory, and we can't be in relationship with God because of it. But God sent His Son, Jesus, who came to this earth, who died on a cross, and who was raised again so that we can have life. The Bible says if you believe in Him and declare with your mouth, you can be saved.

So I want to pray a prayer, and I want us all to pray it. If you're here and you're making this commitment for the first time, say: "Dear Jesus, I believe that You're the Son of God and the Savior of the world. I believe You came to this earth, You died on a cross, and You were raised so that I can have life. I make You my Lord. I make You my Savior. In Jesus' name."